of being young and old

last week, may i-reto kuno sa akon si senyorito…

‘nyorito:  hey, kwan. how would you like me to hook you up with my old nurse…

kwan:  errrr… do you mean OLD age?

utoy-utoy kadlaw ang nurse nga nakabati… kag nagsaligbat…

nurse: oh, she’s not that old, i think she’s around 39…

‘nyorito:  just as old as me…

nurse:  yeah, but she likes younger guys…

kwan:  nice… you’re trying to set me up to an OLD woman who is a pedophile???

kag napuno sang harakhak ang kwarto…

fair line

Imported Photos 00000

my left hand

my friendly palm

medyo kita na ang kaugatan

meaning, hard working si thoto?

showing how long is my… este showing the laban/loser sign…

i’ve been doing some gardening outside, hoping that i would get some tan line… its just that i am tanner than tan… so imbes nga tan line, white line sa akon relos ang akon nakuha.

my body is in wonderland

a week ago, we went to ontario’s famous theme park, canada’s wonderland.  canada’s answer to disneyland. we got a discounted ticket courtesy of the chocolate company which makes that delicious ferrero rocher… aside from a cheaper price, included na ang lunch…

i got an advance canada day off kay ginpasugtan ko ni nyorito.  naghalin kami sa paris mga 730… kay mas temprano, mas mayo… anyways, indi naman namon kinahanglan magpila kay special tickets kami eh so direcho na sa entrance.

anyways, in contrast sa mga nagapakadto sa theme park, tanan nga tawo sa van except sa kay tiyay nga naga-drive, natulogan… indi excited ang mga katawhan!

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we arrived at around 830 am kag laba na ang pila.  pero kay mga ‘VIPs’, ginpasulod kami una, and we were the first to try the rides for that day.  how cool was that, eh.

syempre, gabantay na ang mga maniniyot sa atubang para magkodak sa mga bisita… after nila ka kuhaan sang picture hatagan ka nila sang papel nga pwede mo ma claim imo kodak later… with a fee of course… pero samtang wala mo pa na-claim, himuon anay nila exhibit imo kodak. gani kung mahuya ka nga naka display tsura mo as wallpaper sa computer screen, mapilitan ka baklon.. pero kami pa.. wais ni ya.  may dala man tamon nga camera… husus… ngaa, mas professional pa sila sa yours truly… hehe…

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notice how 'freshly awaken from dreamland' ang halos tanan

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baw si dora da explorer, gahulat gid sa akon…

dora meets boots

dora meets boots

after the meet and greet session with my fan, a.k.a. dora, we were off to our first ride… time warp roller coaster ride , kung sa diin daw nagahapa ang amon posisyon… hmmm… medyo mild ang impact sang ride… ang mga upod ko gusto pa magliwat… pero siling ko sa kadamuon sang rides, daw indi na kinahanglan nga i-try liwat ah…

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so after that so-so ride, nagpila kami sa behemoth… lawig ang pila, kung sa sinehan pa, box office hit… later na lang namon na-realize nga amo to  pinaka taas kag pinakalawig nga roller coaster ride sa park… ang hulobaton bala nga “what you dont know, cant kill you”… baw tsakto gid na… hindi namin alam ang naka ambang panganib… ay tagaleg takon… indi na kami ka back-out kay kahuluya. ang mga bata gani isog magsakay, kami pa…

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hala, amat-amat na nga nagtaklad ang coaster… singgit na kami nga ara na… tapos gulpi nag pause sang pila ka segundos sa tuktok… gakuha gle bwelo kay pagpanaug, sus pwerte ka steep… daw nagpang tig-a man kalawasan ko… feeling ko ginsipa ko sa itlog… tanan nga buyayaw na singgit ko kag… just when we thought nga tapos na singgit, wala pa gle kay tama kalawig kag damo turns… pag gwa namon, sus daw ano ano lang mga adik nga high sa aso sang  lion-tiger katol man…  salakit tutunlan namon sang singgit…. siling sang upod ko daw nagtabug espirito nya… kay asta nga nakapuli kami, wala na sya nagsakay sang bisan ano nga rides kag bisan ano namon nga kumbinsi.  hambalan sya gani namon nga  ang espirito nya, nabilin nga gakabit sa babaw sang behemoth kag kinahanglan nga kwaon nya.

then, gin try namon ang skyrider… roller coaster man gihapon, pero standing position naman iya.  ang advantage lang nga una namon nasakyan ang behemoth, chicken na ang iban nga rides.

then lunch na sa courtyard sang buffet of burgers, hotdogs, lasagna, salad kag free flowing pop, ice tea, wine kag beer plus may strawberry cake pa nga dessert… but then, kung plano mo nga magsakay pa, syempre hagan haganon mo man ang kaon, otherwise, magka souvenir sang burger and hotdog bits o lettuce ang iban nga riders… pareho bla kung magpungko ka sa bintana sakay sang 76 nga bus halin sa antique… pagpanaug mo sa plaza sang tigbauan, may paaman ka nga mumho sang kan-on sa buhok kay ang bata sa atubang mo, wala ka pugong kag nagsuka sang iya pamahaw.

tapos kaon, ngita naman sang iban nga rides… kay busog pa, wala takon nagsakay sa jet scream. ang daw gina duyan bla kamo tapos up side down nila kung sa babaw na kamo… medyo gloomy ang panahon, so samtang naga pila kami sa vortex, ang roller coaster ride nga naga sulod sa mountain, kag every coaster may naka attach nga camera nga naga record sang reaction/facial expression mo samtang naga singgit during the ride…nag bundak ang ulan. so kung ga ulan, cancel ang rides… medyo lawig man gawa amon hulat, hoping nga kung magtahaw, i-resume nila… kag nag untat gid man ang ulan.. after two hours…

pero naghalin na kami sa linya sang vortex kag nagkadto sa kidzville, rides para sa mga bata… diri mo makita sila scooby, dora, jimmy neutron, the rugrats, etc. na stuck kami sa bumper rides sang mga tsikiting, kag nalingaw sang mga wangal sang mga bata nga either naipit o nahadlok.

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then gin-try namon ang 3-d theater ride starring sponge bob square pants… ang chair sa theater gahulag, daw gasakay kami sa bisekleta with sponge bob samtang ginalagas ang pickle para sa ginahimo nya nga hamburger. baskug, daw tuod tuod gid.

then ginbalikan namon ang vortex… kag nakasakay gid man kami… syempre ginrecord ang tsura mo during the ride kag pwede mo mabakal sa balor nga $19…. mayad no… mahal… inyo na lang ra… ok man… ang ride… pero paglantaw ko sang tsura ko sa screen, sus, daw kita pati lungs sa sobra kadako sang baba ko… alingagngag kag puwak, kitang-kita…

then pila kami sa thunder run… roller coaster ride naman pasulod sa mountain… may dulom nga parte… pag gwa namon, nabatian ko nga namangkot ang sa likod kung nakita kuno ang dragon… heh, may dragon gle sa sulod, wara tamon kamaan…

tapos, may acrobatic show sa pihak nga part sang mountain… may stuntmen nga malumpat sa falls… pag-abot namon, patapos na ang show, so ang finale na lang nga paglumpat ang nakita namon…DSC03618a

pagtupa sang acrobat sa tubig, ginhutikan ko ang upod ko…

naku, naputol ang ulo!

hehe, joke joke joke…

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oha, daw tuod no... pero lawanit lang na nga ginpintahan sang mountain kag falls... joke... pati, tuod ra.

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with harold and bianca

next, we’re off to see a show… ice skating about summer fun… 630 pm ma-start, pero 6pm ara na kami sa gwa… samtang gahulat, pa picture galore naman eh…

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indi man guro bawal ang omehe dito no?

indi man guro bawal ang omehe dito no?

pag-abot sang alas sais y medya, nagsugod ang programa… may saut-saut samtang naga ice skating…. ang galing.  ginhakwat ni manong si indhay samtang naga-bika^… oha, by that time, kita ko ang ‘dragon’… well, the program was good and lasted for an hour…

then kay sanag pa at 7pm, libot libot na lang sa park, panyapon kag puli… ang water rides, gin reserve para sa next nga pagbisita.

syempre, antis magpuli, pakodak sa entrance…

kwan is here...

kwan was here...

happy canada d-eh!

today is canada day… it is Canada‘s national day, a federal statutory holiday, celebrating the anniversary of the July 1, 1867 enactment of the British North America Act of 1867, which united Canada as a single country of four provinces. Canada Day observances take place throughout Canada as well as internationally.

daw equivalent sang independence day sa aton on june 12.  its that time of the year where every canucks celebrate and show how proud they are to be canadian.  (btw, i think they hate it when people call them americans, simply because they’re NOT).

 may parade, fireworks, kag iban pa… the maple leaf flag being hanged in front of almost every canadian homes, and you can see it everywhere.  sa chair, sa payong, sa burador, sa t-shirt.  gani daw indi ko ka intiende ngaa gin-akigan si pokwang nga nagsuksok sang philippine flag nga gloves during the philippine independence day celebration sa wowowee. Just to be clear I don’t want that stupid show, nabasahan ko lang sa putos sang ibos. siling nila gina bastos kuno kung isuksok ang flag pero ngaa ang flag sang japan, uk, usa, canada, brazil, italy etc. makita mo sa t-shirts?

we can view it the other way, right? basta wala lang ginalapak lapak o sunog ang bandila, wearing the flag is like expressing  how proud you are to be pinoy. pero daw indi amo na mag-isip ang iban nga mga pinoy eh.

finger liking good

i am the type of person who dont show my fingers whenever i pose for a photo shoot… ano gid bla ang role sang tudlo magpakodak haw… para sa akon, daw gina agaw sang fingers ang attention kung gamiton mag posing… ginatabunan  nila ang gwapohon ko nga nawong…

suya gid ko na kapin pa inang mga trying hard mag gamit sang duha ka tudlo kung magpakodak…

trying hard to be pa-cute

trying hard to be pa-cute

lintik, taga pakodak may peace sign… kung mga japanese guro ok pa kay daw uso gid na didto pero kung pinoy gani daw nasaw ahan ko… daw ga senyas sa maniniyot nga two more shots pa please… so ano gid bla manong… mang finger o not… abi, one time lang, tilawan ta gamit sang mga tudlo magpakodak…

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suya ko part...

ayos!

ayos!
mr. pogi 1989

little mr. pogi 1989

wat eber yaya...

wat eber yaya…
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you're such a loser

ache che... relax mga fans...
ache che… relax mga fans…

feeling rock star o i love you (ala sheryl cruz... wehehe) or magbabalik po kami after these few reminders from our sponsors (wahaha)

feeling rock star o i love you (ala sheryl cruz... wehehe) or magbabalik po kami after these few reminders from our sponsors (wahaha)

na realize ko, sometimes gle with the help of our fingers,  pwede ta ma pakita ang aton feelings, nothing more than feelings..

kwanism

in the late 90s, nag uso si ally mcbeal.. aside from the cool soundtrack (which made vonda shepard popular), the show was full of witty dialogues that each character had their set of quotable quotes named after their names: mcbealism, fishism, etc.  i watched it because of the show’s wit…

and i think, that helped me to be witty… sometimes, gaka surprise ko kag daw maham-ot sang mga naga-gwa sa bibig ko…

last week, daw may mga instances daw natayhum takon sa mga sabat ko sa ila ni senyora kag senyorito…. pareho sang:

  • mahilig sa vegetables sila senyora pareho sang artichoke, lettuce, rapini, kag radicchio… rapini and radicchio are leafy vegetables which are both bitter… daw dahon version sang ampalaya naton… so samtang nagaka-on kami, baw daw ginapilit ko lang akon tutunlan magtulon pero sila iya daw ganahan gid magharab.. gani wala ako kapugong kag naglitanya:

so you guys like bitter better eh?

  • samtang naga-assist sa new nurse mag transfer kay senyorito, nagbilib gid ang nurse sa kadasig sang akon performance…

nurse: omg, youre fast….

kwan: errrr… it takes time to be fast

  • IMG00007medyo maulanon sang last week, so ara kami sa sulod samtang nagalantaw sa gwa… literally talking about the birds and bees… and i took this picture…

tapos, ginhambalan ko sila:

so its true… the grass is greener here…

tulokay si senyora kag senyorito kag dungan nga namangkot kung ngaa…

thats why i am here… to look for greener pasture, eh

  • sang adlaw nga manug week off na ko, senyora asked if i am happy that im going on vacation again…
  • oh right, if im happy and i know it, should i clap my hands?

  • nag ring ang telepon… ginsabat ni kwan, ang aliping namamahay…
  • kwan: hello

    lady (gaga): hi, hows it going…. can i talk to V

    kwan: and may i know whose calling please?

    lady:  im the niece.

    kwan: yeah, and your name?

    lady: im the niece…

    kwan: yeah, youre the niece but can i have your name?

    lady: its D-E-N-I-S-E, DENISE, her niece…

    kwan: oh.. shoot… so your denise, the niece…

    bal-an ko nga ginapunggan lang ni denise ang iya karadlawon kay bati-an ko pa ang pusnga sang iya ginhawa…

    casino royal

    Mark asked me if i would like to go to casino with them… he said that this is canada, i should have fun… may point gid sya, otherwise i would be stuck in the house again.  and the weather’s very good just to stay home.

    on our way to the casino, he gave me a hundred dollars.  nice eh.

    mark, my uncle and my aunt were laughing because i entered on the area where there’s  a guard standing who asked me about my age. when i said that i am past 30, it seems like he’s not convinced because he asked for an ID (again)! i started thinking that my ‘baby faced’ is becoming a liability… lintek!

    anyways, so we went to this Caribbean poker table, and my aunt told the dealer to take it easy on me because its my first time…. a big guy on the other end of the table said:

    oh we got a virgin here!

    heh… baskug! i want to hide under the table…

    then the game began…

    it seems like i was having the beginner’s luck because i did won… i even got a full house (which players seldom get), and trips (three of a kind) two consecutive time… the old lady beside me said that i was indeed lucky, then she guessed that i might just finish school because i look like a nineteen year old… hmmm…. feels like she wants me to give her some chips… hehe… of course, i thanked her for the compliment..

    so after three hours, i doubled the money that Mark gave me and i was very happy… and if i know that i am happy, i should clap my hands, eh? <—- this one doesn’t sound funny when i used it before but i can write about it in the future entry.

    anyways, mark asked me if what will i do with my ‘winnings’… so i asked him if i can spend it again at the casino… of course i was just joking… he advised me to buy anything that i like because, its my lucky day and i should enjoy it… i dont have anything in mind now… i am open for suggestions. yeah, as if i won big time… its just $100+ and with a few more dollars, i can buy an ipod. hmmmm…