sunday hitback: unfriendster

a year ago, i wrote about how unfriendly i was. but reading it now makes me think if i really did change for the better. well, i am trying…

originally posted last january 30, 2006

i have a confession to make.. contrary to what you thought… im not friendly. if im going to run for any public office, i will lose… because im not that good on PR. don’t get me wrong…im not a snob, if i happen to be in a situation in which i know you need help.. i will quickly/readily give my hand… in a heartbeat…. immediately … without any doubt…

but the fact is i have friends but i just choose my close friends.

i was talking to some of them last weekend, and i told them i just have a few of them but i am always proud and grateful that i met them.

i would love to sit down on the sofa with someone and have a good long talk, i like my private time, everyone who knows me knows that i’m not a fan of big groups, preferring one-on-one conversations. small talk with acquaintances is a real challenge for me. as i had said….i am a wallpaper, the guy who blends in with the wall, and one who likes being in the background. that’s why i’ve never had masses of friends. in my belief the more friends you have, the less you actually know them. there’s always that small group of friends you share a very personal relationship with, who are there to talk to you when you feel like shit, and the rest are friend’s in the background.

i can’t help that fact, it’s just my nature. people tend to think shy people want to be left alone and depressed…. not really… as i don’t feel depressed every day. hey i know i can be funny.. and my friends know that…however, when i am alone i feel safe and secure too, i don’t like intrusions into my privacy. i rarely open my shell to anyone unless i’ve known them long enough to realize that they might actually care about me. i’m happy with my situation, yet i want it to change. i’m crazy aren’t i? one day i’ll look back on all this and smile because it helped me discover who i really am, it helped me justify my position in life and it helped me make some real friends. wherever you are in the world, i don’t care, you’re all friends worth spending my time with, because you care, and that’s all i need to be happy. i’m beginning to sort my situation out…

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